If there was one thing I could change about myself (aside from my thunder thighs), it would be to stop worrying about things that I can’t control. In fact, worrying in general is quite the habit of mine and it is one which I really want to kick. Why do I do it? Well if I knew that I would address it and put a stop to it.
Looking back I have always been quite a self-conscious person, I used to worry that people didn’t like me at school because I was never one of the loudest or the funniest, despite having quite a big group of friends at the time I was always the quiet one. This typical worrying element is still a feature within my adult life, although it isn’t as prominent as it used to be. I was always aware of the fact that I didn’t enjoy clubbing as a teen, I didn’t go out drinking and getting drunk every weekend; I felt boring for a long time and even to this day I still feel as though I appear boring to others. I try not to think like that, trust me. I enjoy the quieter things in life, although I’ll be the first to admit that I wish I had more adventures and a few more friends to do things with of a weekend. My social circle is ridiculously small.
As an adult I worry even more about ‘grown up things’, for instance not being able to even think about getting on the property ladder any time soon and not being able to afford to do things as often as I would like. As a 28 year old still living it home it makes me feel inferior to everybody else, which is rather silly really considering there are probably a lot of people my age who are in the same position up and down the country. This of course I believe has an impact on relationships too, I am aware that I most likely see it as more of an issue than they do; however, it is just another element of my life currently which makes me feel crap.
Speaking of relationships, I often feel as though I am supposed to be alone. I don’t meet many people that I like, I mean truly like a lot and sometimes when it feels too good and the person I have met is incredible I just end up going into panic mode and thinking that it will all end. It is irrational, silly and only brings myself stress and trust me, I have enough of that to deal with. Why do I do it? It definitely is because of some of the points listed above and because of past experiences also. My last relationship wasn’t a good one and at times (most of the time) I was left feeling really hurt and insecure. I was made to feel stupid and inadequate, this would also happen in front of others and I was too weak to stand up for myself. I wish I could say that it was just me being over sensitive, it wasn’t. I probably would be the same if it happened again, although I would like to think that I would recognise the signs this time and just walk away from it completely.
I guess the above goes into a little bit of my thoughts and explains some of the reasons as to why I worry and overthink things so much. Recently I have been worrying again, I seem to have flare ups and I have once again chewed off all my nails in the process. I feel ugly once more.
There are a few things which you can do to help combat worrying and overthinking, so I thought I would compile this into a little (this is much longer than I intended) blog post, just in case it is helpful to anybody who feels the same way as I do at times.
- Exercise – That old chestnut. It is true though, and I urge anybody to give it a try. Exercise gives you something else to focus on, it also helps you sleep better and to burn off a few calories in the process. I know when I am stressed and worrying I am much more likely to eat food that isn’t good for me so this can only be another benefit to exercising. Even if you just go out for a fifteen minute walk, jog or dare I say it run. You will start to feel the benefit of it and you will notice that your mind is distracted away from everything else.
- Talk to Friends/Family – I appreciate that this is easier said than done, not everybody feels as though they can talk to friends and family, not everybody has a supportive network. I don’t have many people around me so this is probably the one tip that I don’t really act on myself, on occasion I will talk to my mum about how I am feeling but that is after I have let it build up and build up until she starts to notice I’m acting a bit different.
- Self-care – Now this is a tip that I actively recommend. Do things you enjoy, whether it is reading, going out on your own taking photographs, visiting new places, meeting a friend for coffee, or simply being at home watching your favourite tv series. It is important to look after yourself.
- Remain Positive – Again this is something which is easier said than done, especially when feeling as though everything is against you. I find that surrounding yourself with positive people, even just one can make a big difference. Look up positive quotes on Pinterest too, find one you love and print it off and stick it on your wall so that it is the first thing you see when you wake up. Drive with the window down and your music blaring, sing along.
- Accept that there are things you cannot change.
Are you an overthinker too?